It's Personal Stories, A Hospitality Podcast

Sarah Dandashy_ Ask A Concierge_ interviewed by Rachel Humphrey

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Sarah shares why she trusts her instincts when it comes to evaluating risks and the impact her preparation and practice have on her public speaking. She discusses the importance of the outdoors and physical activity on her overall performance and why curiosity is important. She talks about how developing human connections can help you feel more at ease in any environment, how she tackles moments of self-doubt, and what she'd tell her younger self.

Rachel Humphrey:

I am Rachel Humphrey with its Personal Stories, a hospitality podcast, and I am very excited to be joined today by Sarah Dan Dehi from Many Hats. But today ask a concierge. Sarah, welcome to the program.

Sarah Dandashy:

Thanks so much for having me.

Rachel Humphrey:

This has been a long time coming and we're gonna talk about some leadership topics today. I'll tell everybody how I first met you or got introduced to you and also your leadership journey. So let's start there. Everyone knows, the thing I love most about hospitality is you can really chart any path that you want. No. Two have to be the same. So tell me a little bit about you, your background, and how did you end up doing what you're doing today?

Sarah Dandashy:

Yeah. Okay. I'll try and give like the short version of it'cause there's so many fun stories with it. But I, as I think a lot of people in hospitality can say or relate to, fell into it. I was going to school at Georgetown getting a nice, fancy international relations degree actually. A Bachelor of Science in Foreign Service, to be exact. But as I was going to school, I was like I want a taste of the real world. I don't wanna be just like on campus and living this insulated life. And so I started working at a restaurant and then fast forward my cousin who had gone to Lauzen. Obviously highly respected hospitality school. Moved to town and he was working at the Four Seasons, so a little bit of time goes by and he is like, why are you working at this restaurant? You should come work at the Four Seasons. That's where I got my whole introduction to hospitality. And so luxury hospitality at a very high level as far as like delivering that service. And four Seasons did a fantastic job as far as. I also went in as a complete sponge. It was a blank slate. So anything four Seasons had to say was certainly really interesting and a wonderful sort of guiding. A pla a wonderful place to start. Fast forward. I moved to Los Angeles. I end up falling into the position of being a hotel concierge even though I'd only lived in the city for three weeks. But I started at a five star, five diamond hotel and worked my way through that. Ended up at another property the Peninsula, Beverly Hills, I'm sure many people know of it. And then the last property that I was at as a concierge was the London West Hollywood. I earned my keys, which for those that are familiar with the luxury hospitality space, the Lake Leor, the Gold Keys of Concierge, a highly prestigious organization got that was actually won the title of Best Young Concierge in the World in. 2015 now. And so simultaneously as that was growing back in 2012, I started doing travel videos of What To Eat Seed Do in Los Angeles, which was a natural extension of me being a concierge. So I was at, the concierge desk giving people advice. Now I just started creating videos of it naively, I. Who will want to watch this fast forward. You could almost even say concierge were the original influencers. So the transition really made sense. So now I, I don't work at a specific property anymore but I do the brand has grown and evolved tremendously and I work with hospitality and travel brands from a marketing side. But I also ended up writing a book in the pandemic. That really brought together all the lessons I learned in hospitality as far as delivering that exceptional service. So that's also created a whole new avenue that I can, that I've been able to grow the business. And then the one thing that I do that a lot of people don't realize, because I don't talk about it online, is I actually have my own private concierge business. So I work with ultra high net worth individuals and their families. And I, you name it I do everything for them, whether it is travel, whether it is helping them move into a new home. You name it, just as a concierge is a wearer of many hats. I, too am aware of many hats just for my clients. So that's a little bit of the backstory. That's

Rachel Humphrey:

incredible. I, too was an international relations major in college and Oh, did not know that about you, but what an incredible. Journey really from that to what you're doing today. And one of the hats that you wear is actually how you first came into my orbit. Which is through a lot of the work that you do with the media, which I didn't know started in the videos about la so Oh yes. And in some instances people will say, we're behind the pandemic, pandemic's in the rear view mirror, but you took on a really important role during that time and you used a lot of your. Media knowledge, a lot of your relationships to do a lot of conversation publicly about Sure. The pandemic and the hospitality industry and the impacts and everything else. Talk a little bit about, first I'm interested in how you knew you were the right person for that, but also how did that change your leadership? How did that change? What you understood about the hospitality industry.

Sarah Dandashy:

So I don't know how I'd say like I knew I was the right person for that. I don't know that there's, that wasn't really. A concern. I'll so breaking down the pandemic. And in full transparency, up until then, I was actually still working at a hotel. And I, I absolutely could have left years before, but I was nervous. And I think anybody who starts their own business on the side, it can be very nerve wracking to leave. What is a, constant paycheck and something that you know, is consistent for something that you're like, uhoh, can I do this? So in full transparency, that's what was where I was and going into the pandemic I knew that I was, before we knew the pandemic was happening, I had already slated for myself. I was like, this is the year that you're gonna transition into working completely for yourself. Fast forward the pandemic. It was happening and then I basically was viewing the entire social media landscape and what was I seeing? A lot of fear mongering, a lot of like heightened emotions. Everybody didn't know what to do. It was just it wasn't helpful. And so when I view situations where everybody's, first of all no good decision comes from a place of panic, let's say. But when you see everybody panicking and you see all of this, that's just, this doomsday sort of attitude, I'm like that's, how is that going to help us in the long term? We want people to feel good and feel safe when it comes to travel. And so when I was scanning what the conversations were in the social media space, I was like, okay, there's a gap. Nobody's talking about how to travel responsibly, how businesses are really making sure that guests and travelers. Do feel comfortable regardless of their quote unquote comfort levels. And so it wasn't about shaming anybody for traveling or doing any of that, but it was really about okay, depending on your comfort levels, this is what you can do and this is what you can expect, and this is what businesses are doing, and how great. So I really doubled down on that as far as the consumer side of things. At the same time, I also doubled down on. On LinkedIn because prior to that, all of my content was very much B2C for lack of a better way of describing it to travelers. But then it was, tapping into my whole background and understanding how to navigate, that it also only made sense for LinkedIn, and helping to be, my whole thing is let's be a champion of our industry. We're always gonna face challenges. Obviously that was an extreme situation. We're facing challenges still to this day. So instead of maybe that comes down to the concierge mindset is that, you're always gonna be thrown, again, different challenges, all of that. Maybe it just comes down to the fact that you're like, okay, this is what's in front of us, but this is how we can. Focus on getting past it being very solutions oriented. And I feel when it comes to being solutions oriented, it just comes down to educating yourself and those around you. So that's like the mindset shift and what was my why in the middle of the pandemic when everybody was like, oh my gosh, what's next? It's let's take a beat and let's see what it is, and then we can strategically navigate out of this together.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love the idea of seeing something that was not sitting right with you. Yeah. But really having that strategic approach to saying. Okay. With what I know and with the skills that I have or the audience that I have, what can I do to change that narrative? That's actually a perfect segue because you have taken some big risks. You said you were already navigating this idea of your own business. At that point, you then also navigate to change how you are seen in the media, what roles you're taking on there. Sure. How do you. Analyze risk, how do you decide which are the ones that you're gonna jump into and which maybe you're gonna pass on?

Sarah Dandashy:

Great question. When it comes to ri, so first of all, it's it comes down to like really trusting your gut and being really in tune with yourself and being like, okay. Is this really the right thing to do? And we'll know, our gut will tell us. Now, of course, then our brain gets in the way and it's oh, but what if, or, oh goodness. You're not what if you say the wrong thing? Or what if you do the wrong, or what if you don't succeed? And it's, it's all about being smart when you take the risks, obviously, I'm not saying to, to just, throw caution into the wind, but. If you can really kind of plan out big risks or big changes in your life and you make sure that you have a sort of cushion for yourself. And this can be in so many different ways, whether it is financial, whether it is even. Diplomatically, understanding the parameters in which you can play. If you're doing something like on the media circuit, how you would talk about talk about things like what, for example, going on media and talking about travel in the middle of the pandemic, where some people were almost villainizing travel. And so how to carefully choose the words to be like no. We don't have to villainize it and to be like welcoming of that people can do it in different ways and so it's when you, when it comes to taking risks, I just always take a step back and it's you can live a life of what ifs or you can actually try and also not being scared of failure because and again, this is not my phrase, we've heard it probably many times before. It's not rejection, it's redirection. And sometimes you have to take a risk and maybe something fails, but then it puts you on the right path to what it, what you're supposed to be on. And it can be a stepping stone. And to give yourself that grace to be like, okay, I tried this and maybe my initial thought wasn't the tr the right, the exact, I didn't hit the nail on the head, but then it pushed me in the direction that I was supposed to be in. So if you understand that it's all lessons along the way and. And like, why not do it now? So much better to give it a try now than to be, 85, 90 and looking back and be like, I do wish I would've played it a little bit higher stakes. It's funny

Rachel Humphrey:

because with all of the resources you have available, all of the knowledge you have. Sure sticking with your gut is really a north star for you, and I think that's incredible. I also hate the word failure'cause I think it puts a lot of pressure on us to try to be perfect all the time. Totally. So the idea that anything that is maybe not as successful as you hope it will be, redirects you to something even better along the way. So

Sarah Dandashy:

Totally. People get really caught up with the notion of failure, and I've never. I really understood that because it, to me, it's just, it's a lesson. It's a lesson. You might, the lesson might be, oh, I need to get better. It's not a failure, and we all

Rachel Humphrey:

have challenges or obstacles along the way. Nothing works out hundred percent of the time. Anybody in the industry. What

Sarah Dandashy:

keeps life interesting? I like to say

Rachel Humphrey:

I. Sarah, when you talk about, going on the media circuit like you did a minute ago, making the videos that you were making when you were at the LA hotels, you do a lot of public speaking in front of international audiences. Talk a little bit about your preparation. Do you remember maybe your first public speaking? Is it something that comes naturally? Are you still nervous? How would you, what would you tell people that are like, ah, I don't know if it's for me.

Sarah Dandashy:

So it, I will say this, it all comes down to practice and preparation and not winging it. And I even myself to this day, I had a TV appearance yesterday and I was like nervous going there. I'm like, Sarah, why are you nervous? You go all the time. They know you, they love you. It's, and I didn't prepare enough. And so even case in point, even though it ended up being fine, there are certain things I'm like that could have been smoother. And that's just me knowing myself as my quote unquote instrument. Very well. Now when it comes to, public speaking, and I always say obviously, rehearse, practice, all of that, but if you lead with. You know that you're sharing something valuable, it takes the pressure off of you. I think where a lot of times when people get in their head, when it comes to public speaking or just doing anything in the media, be it even as these, as simple as social media. If they're like, oh, people are gonna judge me, and that's where you have to take the. The ego out of it and understand that it's not about me, but it's about what I'm sharing. It's about the knowledge that I'm sharing. I'm the vessel in which to share that knowledge. Yes. Okay. We wanna make sure that we sound articulate and we look nice, but people are less likely to, to be judging that when there's substance. So again, when it comes to getting over the nerves of public speaking, understand that you are sharing valuable information that the audience is there and they want to hear. And I feel like that also just, that helps put it, it frame it in a different perspective. That just takes the personal side out of it. And you can hopefully, again, just with practice and doing that, just let it go and then it just gets easier with time.

Rachel Humphrey:

I like the practice and preparation even at or in spite of the level of public speaking experience you have today. I think that's one of the things that people don't understand is no matter how many times you do it, the practice and preparation should never be brushed by the wayside. It's never just going to be, and if it is, you've probably. Checked it in at that point and

Sarah Dandashy:

it's time to so different. And I never give the same presentation twice. Yeah. So that's one of the things people are like, oh, you speak all the time. And I'm like, yeah, but this one's different than the one I did last week. And there might be some overlap. So it is tricky when every sort of. Performance, so to speak, is completely different. To give yourself grace and figure it out and if you have a strong message to share, it becomes a lot easier.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love the idea also of the value of the content because one of the things I do to settle my nerves is say somebody asked me because they think I have something to add to the conversation, and so I put it back on them. They know what they're doing. They're great at their job. They wouldn't have asked me if they didn't think that I had something to add, and then I go, okay. They think I have something to add, so let's add what they're expecting. And that, that has worked wonders for me.

Sarah Dandashy:

And I love that you say that because that is something that I always preach when people are like, oh my gosh, but what am I gonna talk about? Or this, the tricky thing is oftentimes what we know all too well, we take it for granted. It's so close to us, it's literally under our nose. And so even, for example, when I started my brand online, I was like, why would anybody wanna. Hear about what to eat, sea do in Los Angeles like this. Is it like what? And then I found out that so many people did. And so if you're ever worried or if you wanna even just do a check with yourself as far as, okay, what am I contributing? Think about. The people closest to you, what do they come to you and ask you for advice on? And if you do that audit, and it can be family members, close friends, your inner circle even colleagues, if you notice, you'll start to notice a trend and what people are coming to you for your opinion on or your advice on is generally what you're an expert in.

Rachel Humphrey:

Oh, that's incredible. I love that. I just shared one of the ways that I overcome some of my own self doubt, and yes, in that particular case, relating to public speaking. People who have seen you, who are familiar with you, I hear all the time, so polished, so confident, all of these other things behind the scenes. Are there moments that you have self-doubt? You mentioned. Going even to the Four Seasons where you're like, I have no experience in luxury hotel concierge. And if so, what are some of the ways that you help navigate that? Or what would you advise people that are struggling with their own, overcoming their own self-doubt?

Sarah Dandashy:

Look, everybody has, we all get in our own way. It's like to say we all have elements of self doubt, self-doubt. I, when I think back to like early on in my career. It's interesting because at that point I was like, I am young. Like I'm not going to know things. And I, that attitude is, I think the attitude that we all need to remind ourselves of. And I think it can also even be more challenging the older we get, because sometimes we're even harder on ourselves. I should know this by now, or I'm maybe, I don't know as much as I, I should know. Take the ego out of knowledge and just be curious and you are, if you're ever questioning like, how am I in this room? Like how am I talking to these individuals? Take a step back and be fully confident in the fact that you are in that room, you're sitting at that table, you're having those conversations with those people because you're supposed to be there and maybe. Maybe why you're supposed to be there is you're supposed to have a conversation and learn something from others. So when it comes to self-doubt, a lot of times that self-doubt just comes in because you just don't feel like you know enough in that topic. But it's okay. We're constantly learning. And if you speak to some of the most intelligent individuals, or the most accomplished individuals, what will they all say? They always say have a curious mind, because they too are constantly. Learning and educating themselves. So what I feel like is that if you can lean into your curiosity. Nobody will ever judge you for asking questions and for being genuinely curious and for just saying, I actually don't know anything about that. Can you like, tell me more? No one will ever judge you for that. In fact, what comes from that exchange is they immediately think, oh wow, this person is interested in me or interested in finding out more. If you shift the dynamic and the understanding of the situation of self-doubt and just go at things like it's all a lesson and you can constantly be learning it, it makes it so much easier. And then you learn so much more. Yeah. I actually

Rachel Humphrey:

am so glad you brought up career. Oh my God, it's perfect. No, because I wanna, one of my biggest takeaways from this podcast is how many leaders describe themselves as driven by curiosity. Yes. Their careers. Their roles they've taken, I would not have used that word until I started this process. And I realized that part of that curiosity is continuous growth, is meeting people, is understanding businesses and doing these other things. So if I were to ask you today, Sarah, what's one thing that you're curious about today?

Sarah Dandashy:

Oh, I, so I'm always curious about people and what makes them tick. Because if you can really understand different things about a person, you can understand why they make the decisions that they make, maybe what motivates them. And maybe with that, you, it, you can also mirror a bit of yourself and it helps you understand yourself a little bit better. But for me. You can learn so much by other people, their stories, and it doesn't have to be nobody has a linear path. And in that learning of from other people's stories, there's also inspiration. So for me, I feel like that's also part of curiosity is that you're, you'll constantly be inspired and you never know where that thought might lead to something else. And the next thing you know, you build a whole you change the world because you've built something completely new. So curiosity is always such a fun place to, to play in, because again, as I said before, there's no ego in it. You're just, Ooh, tell me more. And that's a fun place to be playing in.

Rachel Humphrey:

Outside of hospitality, I say right now my curiosity is about people. I am the between documentaries, biographies, autobiographies. Sure. I cannot get enough. And I'm so fascinated every time I read about I didn't know that about that person, or, oh, that's so interesting. Or, I remember that event, but I don't remember. It's just such an interesting. Way to see people, especially people who are public figures Sure. That we really don't know that much about other than what the media or their own PR has done. And so I love the idea of being curious about people and definitely am right now as you went. We were talking about taking risks before and going from. An established career as a concierge to then your own business, to now consulting and your media and all of your other initiatives along the way, different roles require different skills, and oftentimes, especially those of us who went to school for international relations, are not learning a lot of these skills in school. What is something along the way that you're like, Ooh, I think that this is something I'm gonna really need to dig into more or to master to be successful at what you had chosen in your path.

Sarah Dandashy:

And it's not a new skill, but I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs will definitely understand this is le leaning more into delegating. So that's a big thing that I'm working on now. And it's and truthfully, it's not necessarily, like a control thing. A lot of people don't like to delegate'cause they just like to be in control. It's not that at, at all. As a concierge, you're constantly delegating, right? You're not doing everything. You're constantly delegating AKA, giving referrals to things. But sometimes when it comes to your own business, it's figuring out. The right pieces of the puzzle and that can be a little challenging. So delegating is definitely a skill. It is a skill'cause it's something that you need to delegate to the right individuals. But just shifting on this, I will say. Something that I did maybe I, I went back into, like about a year and a half ago, that is something that most people probably never do that can benefit everyone in many ways, is I actually got back into doing improv classes. So what maybe a lot of people might not know about me is I actually have a whole background in film and tv. I've. I've done movies, I've done tv, I've got a whole, I have operated cameras, edited films, you name it. So I already had that background on top of doing hospitality. Which obviously blended together very nicely with social media. But so I actually used to do a lot of comedy and about a year and a half ago I was having some, I was going through a change in some things in my personal life, and then I put myself back into. Improv classes. Classes. And it was so fantastic'cause I was doing it with a company, it's based in Los Angeles here called Improv for the People. And what I loved about it is it wasn't just actors, but you had lawyers and doctors and all sorts of teachers, all sorts of people from different backgrounds that were taking this class and to see how just going and having this two and a half hours of playtime. Open them up and help them in their respective careers, and I am sure I. I'm sure some people are like, wait, what does that have to do with hospitality? When you're in a room like that and you're in essence, forced to play and be nimble and quick on your feet, it influences so much more of your it, it really rewires your brain. You're constantly looking for ways. You're, you become more nimble in all the ways that you approach life. And so I think that's a really fun skill that more people should probably. Try out because the impact and the influence it'll have over your professional career is. Is incredible and it just is playing in the elasticity of your life. So yeah. That's interesting.

Rachel Humphrey:

No, I actually know a few people who have done that in the last couple years who are not in hospitality at all. Yeah. But to learn, to think on their toes, to put themselves in uncomfortable situations and see that they're going to be okay. Yes. Yeah, to do all of these things to meet people that are just not in the universe, that they're in for work every day. And it's interesting to me how far and wide that net seems to be casting of late, but Absolutely. I actually as I said it earlier, I knew we would run out of time, but I do have a couple things I wanna ask you as we're wrapping up. There is a. Really a newfound discussion of late about self-care and wellness. Sure. You are on the road a lot. You also advise businesses and travelers and other things. Talk a little bit about your own self-care and wellness journey. Do you have non-negotiables that you make sure you're taking care of yourself? How do you prioritize or do you making sure that you are your best self for all the other things that you're trying to do?

Sarah Dandashy:

Yeah I guess it all depends on. Who follows me where, but if you follow me on Instagram, you probably know. I'm a, I work out a lot, so I'm fitness is a very big part of my life. And it's not just, it's different workouts, but then I also hike and I'm o I'm, I try to be out in nature as much as I can. In fact, just outside my o office window is the hike that I go on when I'm home, as much that as I can. And for me one of my big non-negotiables is always like doing something. Always find a way to incorporate physical activity into what I do. I also for me personally, I've never been a big drinker. I'm not a big drinker. I just naturally gravitate towards healthy food. So for me. Knowing that my body is what is going to propel me to do everything I need to do, and I keep long hours, busy schedules, I need to make sure that I'm performing in top, top shape. And so it's like I almost, sometimes I like to say this, I almost like train like an athlete, so to speak. And no, I'm not saying that I am an athlete by any means, but but having that sort of mentality because it's when you. When you are good and you are feeling good and you put yourself first physically, and maybe that might mean, okay, every morning I'm gonna take an hour and go work out for myself. My schedule's so crazy. Sometimes it doesn't happen in the morning, sometimes it half happen later in the day. But that's part very much a big part of my routine, whether it's on the road or at home. And sometimes it might be like, okay. We're gonna get up and do an early workout. I have a flight tomorrow at 9:30 AM and I'm already today doing the math okay, can I go to a 6:00 AM workout class or is that gonna cut it too short? Do I have, so once it becomes part of your routine and you know how good it can feel to optimize your health it just becomes part of who you are. For me absolutely getting out and it's not just working out, but really it's getting out into and being outdoors. And that's my big thing is like I go for hikes all the time, just so it helps everything. I feel like once you get out of your head by doing something physical, it just makes your thoughts that much clearer and it helps in so many ways.

Rachel Humphrey:

I started hiking a lot during the pandemic just to get out of the house and it's one of the things that I have kept up with since we all have many more options now, but the same thing. I like to be outside. I like it to not feel like I'm exercising. When I'm exercising. It puts me in a much better head space.

Sarah Dandashy:

It's perspective. Yeah. It just helps with that.

Rachel Humphrey:

Everyone who listens regularly knows that. My very favorite question because I think we are all works in progress, and part of that is reflection and evolving is what would Sarah today tell Sarah at Georgetown here is either how things will play out for you, something you wish you knew then that might've made it easier or different, better for you along the way.

Sarah Dandashy:

I would even take it a step further back because I actually grew up internationally and so I'm half Lebanese and I grew up living in the Middle East and London, Atlanta, all of that. So I've always been in environments where I was the other, the odd one in the group that didn't fit in, and I know I struggled a lot. With I just don't ever fit in. I'm either too American, too blonde, too tall, too whatever. And my advice would be is like, first of all would be, don't worry, everything works out. But secondly. Connect on a human level and everything will fall into place. And I think that we get too caught up with, whether it's reaching certain goals or how other people perceive us and all of that. And if you just really strip down all of society and the world, just connecting with others on a human level, we're far more alike than we are different. And. That ability to be able to just connect despite speaking different languages, having different religious backgrounds, political backgrounds, all of that. Despite all of that, just connecting on that basic level is what will get you very far in life. So that would be my advice to my younger self.

Rachel Humphrey:

No, I love that the connecting on the human level takes you maybe out of the space of feeling like the other, or Yeah. The one that doesn't fit in, like you said. The mission of its personal stories is to empower personal success. So you've shared a lot of your leadership insights today, a lot of your own personal journey. Tell me one final piece of advice you'd like to leave our audience with.

Sarah Dandashy:

Ooh. I would just say. I'd start with saying be kind to yourself and that it's all a journey. Especially right now where we're living in such an interconnected world with social media, with news and this. We are constantly being bombarded with things that are almost designed to dis, not almost, we are constantly being distracted. Bombarded with distractions, and it can be very hard to get ahead and to feel like you're even performing at the level that you might know that you can. So my advice would be is to give yourself a little bit of grace and to just really tap in and tune into what makes sense to you and don't let. Other individuals make decisions for your life. Like really just trust your gut, because if you lean into what makes sense for you and where your gut what your gut is telling you, it will lay out the perfect path for you. Maybe not the perfect, but it'll lay out a path for you of the journey that you're supposed to go on. And what's great is that nobody else is gonna go on the same journey as you. And that makes you truly unique.

Rachel Humphrey:

That is excellent wrap up advice. Sarah, I, I've been trying to connect with you in different ways for a long time. I'm finally happy to say that we can check that one off. I'm so happy to share your stories, share some of your leadership insights, but thank you so much for joining us on the show today.

Sarah Dandashy:

Thanks so much for having me. Appreciate it.

Rachel Humphrey:

And to our audience, we hope you enjoyed our time with Sarah today, and we hope you'll head over to its personal stories.com to hear from any number of hospitality industry leaders who have likewise shared their journeys and their leadership insights as well. Thanks, Sarah. Thank you.