It's Personal Stories, A Hospitality Podcast

Amy Vaxman, Vice President, Questex, Interviewed by Rachel Humphrey

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Amy talks about the importance of public speaking and why everyone should develop this skill as early as possible in their careers. She discusses support systems, preparing for business travel, strategies for conference attendance, and building strong networks. Amy shares why it is important to celebrate and share your successes as an individual and not just as part of a team in order to advocate for yourself and advance your career.

Rachel Humphrey:

I am Rachel Humphrey with It's Personal Stories, a hospitality podcast. We are a non profit organization dedicated to empowering personal success within the hospitality industry. I'm super excited to be joined today by Amy Vaxman with QuestX. Amy, welcome to the program.

Amy Vaxman:

Thank you. I couldn't be happier to be here today.

Rachel Humphrey:

Everyone knows I love turning the tables on people in the media and conference space who you normally get to do all the questioning and put everybody else on the hot seat. So excited to jump right in and talk a little bit about your path to leadership. One of the things I love about this industry is how unique it can be. And really, everybody's is very different. So tell us a little bit about your journey and how you got to where you are today.

Amy Vaxman:

Yeah, it's fun. Going a long way back. So in 1994, I joined what was company called advanced star. I was hired back then to come in and run a group of trade magazines in an inside organization, inside sales group. And they had one of those magazines was hotel management. So they, and back then the publisher of the magazine was Alex Dubar, who became a mentor for me and a couple of years down the road, he had asked me what I move over and into his single work. So I chose to go. And that brought me into what was then the hotel industry. And then fast forward, Quest X was a spinoff of advanced star. And then Scott Pierce was hired to come in and be the publisher and yes, Scott Pierce. Older brother of Keith Pierce, who is, we all know at Synesta, so very small world, even smaller world is their dad is Walter Pierce, who at one point was publisher of lodging hospitality. So we all, get to meet each other. So then Scott was there for a couple of years and he then talked me into becoming the sales director for hotel management. All the way back in probably 1997, started my leadership track in the hospitality industry and here we are today.

Rachel Humphrey:

It's amazing to think to again, touching on so many topics of mentorship and relationships. I did not know your relationship to the Pierce family. So that's very interesting to me to hear as well, but going in and starting. At the one company, but being there almost 30 years now or just over that, I think is really incredible. I want to pivot to something right off the bat that, is very important to me right now. Spending a lot of time talking about really the critical importance of public speaking in our career path. You as both a media person, but also in the conference space have a lot of opportunity to source speakers, but also do a lot of stuff. So I'm curious your thoughts. Are you comfortable as a public speaker, as a moderator, whether it's to your team at a conference on an episode like this, do you have prepare tactics you use? What are some of your thoughts on public speaking?

Amy Vaxman:

I would say, it's something, that I've grown into, still not always comfortable doing it. That would be the one thing I would say to somebody coming early into your career, take a class, get a coach, learn it early. You're going to be doing it often. You're going to have to do it a lot. Whether it's look, I love talking to my team. I love going out and presenting to, a group talking about our products, talking about our shows, do you love going in and presenting your budget to your CEO? Yeah, not so much, and but there's, you always need to be prepared. Last year I did IMC NYU conference. I prepared for that for weeks. I worked with we have a conference producer that does a lot of our shows in the UK. He was an awesome coach. He gave me everything from, how to prep where to stand on stage, how to work in, doing tongue exercises. So you're not tripping over your words, how to work on your script. There's a lot of techniques that, you really need to hone in on and that, to make yourself feel comfortable. But. Even today, I wrote out all of your questions. I made sure I had my, I thought about my answers. I wrote them down. I think when you think you can just do it off the cuff, that's where you stumble. One person I know who I Brian Quinn, if you ever, have a chance, he is one of the best prepared public speakers I know. I've even told my son, all of them, he, every time I see him go and speak, he's He prepares an entire binder of everything he's going to talk about, whether it's going to a round table, whether he's, talking at a conference, he does all of that research ahead of time. He's prepared. He tells me. goes in front of a mirror, talks, knows everything he's going to say, what his key points are, so I would just tell anybody practice, but start early on in your career so that you are so comfortable and you'll have the opportunity, more opportunities than to be out there doing it.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love the advice of practicing and preparation and being thoughtful in what you're going to say. I actually interviewed Brian. I've sourced Brian for us as a speaker a lot but I've also interviewed him for the podcast and he shared a lot of that preparation and those strategies with us, so I appreciate your sharing that one of the things you mentioned was, some of the relationships that you've had since you first entered the industry. And I always like to tell people why I have asked someone to join something that they, a way they've impacted me that has really helped my career along. And one of those for me with you is actually. building relationships and networking. One of the things that I have learned from you is that you don't need the hour meeting or the big phone call to have a topic, but really, each time we are in the same place, we are very intentional about just catching a couple of minutes together. And I might ask how the kids are doing or what college is looking like. Or what retirement might look like, or we might be talking about elevating women in the industry or what's happening at our jobs. But it isn't a meeting where we're like, okay, let's get down to business and do all these things. And so by seeing you over what's now been 10 plus years at different things in the industry. we've been able to form a very genuine relationship built on just that enjoyment of seeing each other. And that has been a really important lesson for me to see both the consistency of it, of making sure we're on each other's radar, because then when I reach out and I ask you to join me, hopefully you will say yes and vice versa. And so I really appreciate. The way that you are very intentional in being genuine in your relationship building. And that leads me to ask you, building a network is very different from networking and we all build relationships in ways that are very genuine to us. Can you talk a little bit about that side of your professional life?

Amy Vaxman:

Yeah, and it's so funny. That was one your list of questions. I said, that was one of my favorite questions you asked because I think it's that has changed so much over the years of how I see it and how, people coming into the industry see it now. There is networking. And networking, is not how many people you add on to your LinkedIn and go in and, just keep checking off and, saying that my network is now this big, networking is walking into conferences and shows and meeting people for the first time, having a meaningful conversation, shaking their hand, asking questions about their business and potentially learning something personal about them and then making that decision going forward. Are they going to become part of your network? They may or may not. They may just become, somebody that you continue to network with and you see them in conferences and you continue to learn more about them, but you'll go deeper into it. And like you said, you'll then be built. You're there will become part of your network because you'll know a lot more about them. You'll know when their daughters or sons getting married and you'll, and. Your network builds from there, and I think you have to learn the difference from that and grow your network, there is, but you still have to be able to walk into a room as coming into this industry and be comfortable networking and learning how to walk up and shake people's hand and introduce yourself and know their company and ask great questions. So that, and be able to present yourself. And I think some of that has gotten lost a little bit over the, in our younger generation not to sound old, but, just in that younger generation and it may be a little different on the other side of COVID, I think it's, it's something I, as we bring in younger employees coming into it, I think it's, and especially in the sales side of it, I think it's something they really need to learn. So we, you and I would look and say, we do have a a large network of people But we still do, we still network and build new people because we are always looking for people to put on a panel people, to bring into the magazine. We want to have different interviews. So there's you have to do a bit of both.

Rachel Humphrey:

I like the differentiation that you have between networking and building a network. I think that's a really interesting way of framing it. And the fact that you are going in and looking for something in common or something personal about people. I think it's something that you do very well.

Amy Vaxman:

Thank you. And one of what I'm hoping I'm not jumping, but one of your other questions, was talking about just, for a woman and this is not necessarily a woman, but building your kind of like board of directors. And that's, part of your, overall network too, because it's, you build it on three levels in my world. I think you have your personal one, because as you start your career and, you're starting, we travel, we have a lot of travel. So you've got to have your support system that begins at your home. And that's, your husband partner. And because you're going to leave and you think you have it all put together in your plans. But automatically, as soon as that you're on that plane, something falls apart and something wasn't left at school or you left something at home and before Instacart existed, you're calling back to say, can you FedEx me something or, and. You're relying on more than just your family, your, that network you have around you, runs to the school for you or runs to FedEx and sends you something. So you have to build that foundation for, to exist before you even leave to travel. And then you have, in your, I find in your work company, you need to build a system. of people outside your team. Like you need that person in finance or operations and different people that you've built a relationship with so that you have a go to person in all of those areas that helps you when you're traveling or when you're trying to get something pushed through that if you've built a good relationship with them. They're going to help you so that you're just not coming, you just like we're talking about, them on a personal level, a little bit about them. You're not just coming to them all the time. Just pushing something through to them. You've taken a little bit of time to nurture that relationship. That's going to come and pay it forward down the road. And then the 3rd piece of it is, Your network of people that you go to for advice, you are one of them for me. When I just need to know, I want advice on a subject that I feel like I can, be, have a confidant. There's a few people in my close network that I would ask a question that I want advice on. What are your thoughts on this? And that's a smaller network, but I think you have to have those three, really key pieces to move your career through and you've got to keep them wherever you go, job to job.

Rachel Humphrey:

That's a great way of having different systems for different purposes. Before overnight, Amazon, the computer charger is what I always left at home and always needed FedEx to me. The laptop. Roger, for some reason, was always still plugged into the world. I agree more. I've left it behind, many times. Amy, you mentioned traveling a lot. And in this industry, particularly, there is a tremendous amount of business travel. And that can be one of the high points for a lot of people of the industry. But we all learn to manage it differently, whether that is through self care, through organization and scheduling. Some don't feel like they manage it very well. How do you really tackle business travel from a preparation management self care standpoint?

Amy Vaxman:

I think we try to get to the point where we finally learn hopefully all these years later not to overpack would be our starting point. But that's probably I think I still fail at that one even after all these years. But I'll tell you one thing I learned. Is really going into it much more prepared is, as we go into these conferences is looking at the list, but then I think the one really big thing is not overscheduling yourself when you're going there, that is something that, we used to go look at it and be like, look at all the people that are going to be there and you try to schedule yourself every minute of what, of the time that you're there and then what you end up finding is You miss the opportunities to meet people as they're, as you're passing them in the hallway and have that five minutes of somebody you really wanted to see and it didn't fit in your schedule anymore, or they're saying, Oh, I could talk to you, but you're like, Oh no, I have to be somewhere. Or when somebody calls you as you're passing and they're sitting together with a great group of women and you want to sit down and talk to those five people and you can't because you have somewhere. Use your time. But give yourself some downtime for those great meetings that you're going to be able to have or 20 minutes to sit down and get rid of, 20 emails out of your inbox so that when you come back, you're not looking at, 300. You learn, I think a bit that you need to manage your time a little better and not. Just overschedule yourself so that you can keep up with the travel because, it's an, it's part of our business. So we're going to be, it's not going to go away and that's not going to be, so we just have to manage it. And, now, you have to use the plane time where we used to, it used to be nice when we could read a book on the plane, but I think I've gotten, I've. Now got a little smarter that it is a good time to, go through your email and land with a much cleaner inbox.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love that the topic of not overscheduling. I think that's something a lot of us do is trying to maximize. You miss that trip by really trying to fit in everything and you're right, you do miss some of those most important interactions by not having an opportunity to just be present. You and I have talked a lot over the years about Our kids in the stages of their lives in the stages of our lives. And as you mentioned, you travel a lot, but you also have a very demanding work schedule. You are not a nine to five or when you are not traveling, talk a little bit about, I don't believe that we manage our work life or balance our work life, but whether you can find harmony in your work life. And what are some of those lessons you've learned over the years, maybe doing it differently today than you did. Earlier in your career.

Amy Vaxman:

Oh, I would say, if we're looking at a work life balance I would probably tell you, I did it better younger. And I think it's the nature of, when our children are younger, you're forced to balance it a little bit more because they're there and you're, you want to be present and, you don't have a choice as much as we grow older and they're gone. And my husband would be the 1st to tell you that, I'm not as good at doing it any longer, but, but I'd love to take the opportunity that away from it. You kno and I get on a plane and now to just not look at m time we're going, you kno Year or so ago, and I looked for a couple days and then I just decided shutting the laptop off and I'm going to just not look and whatever I come back to if it's, 700 emails at 700 emails because I think you just have to take some time and really disconnect and It is all going to be there when you get back and, part of being a good leader, I really think is if you don't let somebody else take the reins and work it through and know that they can do it and make the decision when you're gone, then you really haven't taught anybody anything. It's letting go a bit to know, if you, if it's not going to fall apart while you're gone. So

Rachel Humphrey:

that's an important leadership piece of advice, too, of being willing to. I think you and I tend to be similar in the fact of wanting to make sure that everything is done and done at a high level and timely and all of these things. And so letting that go is very hard for us. I find it fascinating that you say that you were better at it when you were maybe needed more or forced to be present more. And I think the blessing and the curse of technology is you can work anywhere, but the curse is you can work anywhere. So being really intentional and shutting down during those times of Disconnecting or rejuvenating yourself or whatever it is can be really important. You were just talking about a form of leadership on your team. One of the things that we hear a lot is how difficult, especially as women, but it can apply to others to really advocate for ourselves. If you had, someone on your team or someone who came to you as a mentor and said, Hey, this is a place where I am not as successful right now as I'd like to be. What advice would you give on advocating for themselves for whatever it is, a promotion, a new role, a responsibility a job with you that they're interested in? What is the best way of really finding that inner advocate?

Amy Vaxman:

I think I think a couple of things, I think, As we've been talking about just building relationships, I think one of those things is that self advocacy in itself is building strong relationships. But, one thing I would tell people is you really, own your own wins. So every, you want, you're part of a team. Everything you do doesn't have to be, we got this deal done. If you did it, say, I led the strategy. Everything doesn't have to be we, and I would also tell somebody, speak up on your big moments. Don't wait till you're at your yearly review to highlight things that you've done, speak up for yourself. If you had a great win, say it during the time of the year when it's happening and claim it, tell it, put it in there and I keep a bulletin board of everything you do, or not bullet, note for yourself so that when you're talking to your manager, tell them about your big wins. So that you're always keeping that in their forefront and top of mind,

Rachel Humphrey:

celebrating ourselves is hard and it's, I think it goes against the nature for so many of us were very quick to be hard on ourself with our not wins, but very difficult to celebrate. So I really like that of owning your own wins and that. While we are a team and there is a we, there's a right time to also be an I. I think that's really important. Amy, as leaders, not everything goes our way all of the time that we want it to. And sometimes part of leadership means facing a challenge head on or overcoming a setback or something that didn't go how we wanted it to. Do you have a strategy that you implement when you are faced with a setback or maybe some sort of obstacle that's not going your way?

Amy Vaxman:

I think, yeah, for me, that's another time I use some of my network. I think you have to go and, go to some of your mentors some of your teammates and look to say, as a group, find some strategies, how would you handle this situation? Because some of it, you can just hit a roadblock that you can't. see a way around. So that's when it's an outside perspective is probably the best way to find, find a way around. It's not necessarily inside your company. That's what a good mentor can help you find outside and using your network. I think is one of the best ways to use is the best time to use your network.

Rachel Humphrey:

And that goes back again to why it's so important to really develop those relationships. So when you need that support, or you need that type of recommendations or suggestions or strategy. As you mentioned that you have a group there that is more than willing to jump in and talk you through it. The other thing as leaders is that it changes over time. So who we were as a leader maybe 20 years ago is very different than who we might be as a leader today. When you think back over in the industry and interestingly, all with some version of the same company. What does Amy say has gotten better over time? And other than maybe your work life balance, is there something that you think has gotten worse over time?

Amy Vaxman:

Yeah, I think your, the ability to make, strategic decision making, risk, take risk, those things have gotten better. As you're developed and, know the industry, know yourself, know your market, that becomes much easier. Just with, experience. What becomes as we were just talking about what becomes harder and technology to your, you know what we just said all of the technology that has come into has developed in all of these years. There's forecasting tools there, sales force. All of the things that have that weren't there when we first started have made those kind of things so much easier for us to do to work from, people. A distance, be able to, get things that we could not, you know, we, you couldn't even, so many things were manual. You couldn't even have a lot of the forecasting tools that we can have or, be able to get customer insight that we, that, you have now to be able to look at. But one of the things that does get harder is just what we said earlier. We, we were involved in every decision and, as you launch new products or launching the hospitality show, that you want to be involved in every step of it because you're so afraid to step away. And that, if is something going to not happen if I'm not involved in the trenches of it? And that's, that's where it becomes that, you, You can't be involved in everything or you are never going to have the work life balance because, and I say that to Alexi all the time because, he falls prey into the same thing and that just trickles down, he, we, we have too many chefs in the kitchen because, he's involved. I'm involved. And then, we both, we don't all need to be involved in every piece of it. So I think that's the really the hardest part in, it. That, I can't, we all can't get away from and to just, turn it over. But, I think we've all gotten so much better with everything, all the tools that we have and just knowing that we know how to make better decisions.

Rachel Humphrey:

Yeah, I can definitely relate to that one. One of the things that was not on our radar when you and I first entered the career force was this idea of personal branding or having a mantra or a saying or something by which is your guiding star. Do you have something that you really feel like? Day in and day out, is your guide or the words that you live by, or something that really helps you become both the leader and the human that you want to be. Yeah.

Amy Vaxman:

You know what I have? I do. There's, I think I approach things in a different way. So I, I. I'm rooted more now in like a curiosity and in a persistence and like in a willingness just to adapt find it my own personal brand is just in, in the company, in my work life is all about strategic growth. That's what I want to do. My own personal tagline, I think it's just to be. Driven by passion but guided by wisdom. That's how I want to wake up every day and. That's, live my life that way at this point, I think that's how I just look at everything now, many years into it.

Rachel Humphrey:

Driven by passion, guided by wisdom. I like that very much. One of the things you just said at this stage of your life, and one of the things that I really love is the power of reflection and looking back as we continue to evolve as people. As you look back at 21 year old Amy. What would you tell yourself? Either something you wish you knew then that you've learned along the way or maybe about how things turn out for you.

Amy Vaxman:

One of the questions, things that we talked about earlier, I said, if I, what I know now, I would tell myself right now, in college, I would have taken more public speaking classes, but out of college, I would have gotten, more involved in a public speaking class, classes, coaching, the kind of thing it has something that I really pushed on all of our children to make sure that they've gotten that opportunity and have found now. I can look to say each one of them have found their space and have in their companies, or some form, have all gotten up on stage, presented something, done something, all by the time they've been, our oldest one is just turned 33. And in fact, we saw him over the weekend and, he had just, they just did a big company outing. And he was like, he was up there presenting to the whole company. His presentation to their, and he said his CEO came up and was so excited about how well he had done. And I said, that was a huge win because it was passing that information, that on to them. You need to be able to be a great public speaker because. Find your stage early, learn it and then get your opportunity to be on stage. That's what I would tell anybody

Rachel Humphrey:

so important and that visibility really matters and how he's seen and the opportunities that it provides. That's incredible advice and something that I really hope that I have passed on to our daughters as well. Amy, as we wrap up and I knew that we would run out of time, we definitely won't get to everything, but talk a little bit about A final piece of advice you would want to leave our listeners with. It can be something we've already touched on that you want to elaborate on. It can be something we haven't talked about at all, but what is one final thought keeping in mind our motto of empowering personal success?

Amy Vaxman:

I think my final words, I would say, to make your journey to be a testament to resilience, make it about strategic growth and make it about the power of mentorship.

Rachel Humphrey:

Oh, I love that. Once again, if you enjoyed our conversation with Amy today, my conversation with Amy today, we hope you'll head over to its personal stories. com and hear from other incredible hospitality industry leaders who've likewise shared their personal stories, their journey, their insights. And Amy, thank you so much for joining me. Thank you for sharing and thank you for everything you do to help lead the hospitality industry.

Amy Vaxman:

Thank you so much for having me today. It was a great conversation and, I knew it would always love talking to you.

Rachel Humphrey:

I will look forward to seeing you soon.

Amy Vaxman:

All right. Thank you.