It's Personal Stories, A Hospitality Podcast

Ryan Rivett, Co-Founder, President & CEO, My Place Hotels, Interviewed by Rachel Humphrey

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Ryan shares how he overcomes negative self talk and how the way he evaluates risk has changed. He discusses how he identifies talent, builds a great team, and then relies upon their collaboration in leading. Ryan talks about his approach to public speaking and why he wishes his 21-year old self knew not to sweat the small stuff.

Rachel Humphrey:

I am Rachel Humphrey with d e I advisors. We are a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering personal success in the hospitality industry, and I am delighted to welcome to the show today, Ryan Rivet, the co-founder, president and c e o of my place hotels. Ryan, welcome to the show.

Ryan Rivett:

I'm glad to be here, Rachel. Thanks for inviting

Rachel Humphrey:

me. For those who are not as familiar with Ryan and his background, you can learn more in his bio@www.deiadvisors.org or certainly on LinkedIn. But we are gonna jump right into our conversation. And Ryan, we hear a lot of times that people say, I was born into the industry, and literally in your case, you were born into the hospitality industry. Tell us a little bit about your journey to leadership and some of the pivotal moments along the way for

Ryan Rivett:

you. Definitely born into the hospitality industry and always knew that that's where I was headed as far as what leadership was going to look like for me. I really didn't know until I started working and I didn't start in a leadership position by any means. But what. What I learned along the way in the first couple of years in working inside of hospitality indu industry, inside of this organization that has involved my family for my entire life and well beyond was that. Initially I learned what I didn't want to do. And when you learn what you don't want to do, you it narrows your focus for you into what do you do best? And I found that I could learn a lot and I could accomplish a lot through people and that I didn't get a whole lot done on my own. So for me, what leadership developed into very early on is who I could find that complimented what I could do or that could most. Quickly and effectively helped me get to where I wanted to be. And I think that journey through the initial stages of leadership then transitioned into starting something that was completely new. And and of course a whole new bracket of leadership development expands from there within taking risk and communicating and everything else. But I think that's really my, my journey to leadership started with people and learning what people work the best with me and what people could get the most done alongside of me. And and that continues to be what it is today.

Rachel Humphrey:

That's outstanding. You mentioned taking risks and it's one of the things I think of most when I think about you, because starting a new brand in this day and age is an incredible risk for anyone, regardless of background. You'd had a lot of experience in developing hotels, construction, hotel management, and all of that. Do you think by nature, you're generally a risk taker? How do you evaluate risk and decide, yes, this is one I'm gonna jump in both feet and others, which you say, you know what, I've looked at this one and I'm gonna pass. Yes.

Ryan Rivett:

I think I'm naturally inclined to explore and I want to know how something works. I want to understand what I can do with it and that definitely leads to risk taking, but I'm not the jump off the cliff and look down to see what's down there. Afterwards definitely more of a take four or five looks off the cliff and try to figure out how far I need to go back up to run towards it and how long it's gonna take me to get to the bottom. Pretty calculated, but the risk taking that. That you do at the beginning of a career is totally different than the risk taking that you do as your career expands and develops and comes to sustainability. So when we started with my place, the risks that were being taken were much more individual. It was much more on me. I'm risking just what I'm. What I'm doing today, I'm risking just the funds that we're putting forward to to do it to develop it. I'm risking, the partnerships and relationships that were closest to me in exactly what we were doing. And then as you develop and you gain staff and you gain franchisees and you gain business partners and lender relationships, and the amount of relationships and people that are reliant on what you're doing expands the risk becomes totally different because. You begin to feel the risk that you're taking on behalf of so many other people. So transitioning from that individual risk to that more collective and organizational risk was probably the biggest. Challenge that I ran into, not in accepting that was the case and that it was happening, but boy, it's a big burden. It's a big weight that you have to wrestle with. And I don't know that there's ever enough calculation that gets you comfortable with it, but at the end of the day, you have to know I'm taking this risk on behalf of myself and the people that are along with me. Because I think, and I'm confident that it's the right thing to do for all of us. And when before it was I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do for me and it probably is gonna work out. It just, it's so much easier. And then when you collect all the people and all the things that you care about, people you care about underneath it into an organization, it's a totally different world. And I think. Now versus, versus several years ago. I take risks a little bit differently, but no fewer of them. And certainly no smaller risks than I did before. Naturally inclined to explore, but not necessarily naturally inclined to just throw caution to the wind. So it's it's challenging when you start a new hotel brand and thrust yourself into an industry that's. Relatively small, but so big in so many ways that that we've had to grow into.

Rachel Humphrey:

It's such an interesting perspective too, that transformation from assessing risk from almost a soul. Practitioner into a much bigger group, a really great way of thinking about it. I appreciate your sharing that. You mentioned, when you come upon challenges and nobody at any level of leadership has gotten there without hurdles, challenges, obstacles, whatever you wanna call them, what do you think is your strategy or how would you share with others that when faced with a setback, when faced with something that maybe didn't pan out, when you took the risk, what you learned from it, how you process it, and how you move on from that? Because each of us is gonna, Face points in our career were like, whoa, that was not what I intended. And sometimes that can be really debilitating for people. How do you push through those?

Ryan Rivett:

Think a couple of different things are consistent when I'm faced with obstacles on the front end of'em. And and one is looking left, right and center, not just at what the obstacle is, but also What if I did this, and what if I did that? And what are the risks and the rewards. And so coming up to something that's challenging, it's really, a matter of looking at any different avenue of accommodating it or overcoming it. And I spend a little bit of time doing that, and I've looked back on several challenges that we've come up to and said, man, you know what? I should have just made that decision right away. I knew that, I knew it was the right thing, it was where my gut was at the time, but I still needed to look and I. Play out what the different options are or what the different scenarios or what the different outcomes might be, depending on, how much time and at what stage you are and whatever you're facing. But the second thing that's really, I think, consistent for me in that is engaging with people who I think may have been through the same thing before. So it's a phone call to A mentor or a business partner or an employee, depending upon what their experience is and what their background is. So it, there's never a, there's never an apprehension to engage somebody in it. Although I can say I've experienced the, the solution. Not coming as quickly because I engaged too many people who know overcoming the problem. But definitely seeking out somebody who you either perceive or know has been through something similar, just adds perspective and makes it more comfortable. At the end of the day, it's all about making decision and you don't know the outcome until it's over and So collective, having collective thought and understanding on it as much as possible is really important. But there's something like that every day and bigger ones every week and bigger than that every month. I don't think you ever stop learning about how to deal with those. And if you ask me the same question a year from now, I might answer it differently.

Rachel Humphrey:

Maybe I will just do that and see how that goes. You talked about having people that you can reach out to, whether it be your team or mentors or business partners or whatnot. And what we are hearing more and more is the development of kind of this personal board of directors, this really group of trusted advisors. Do you rely on maybe a small but mighty team of people if you have. Challenge one. You might go here, challenge two, you might go here. And how do you identify the right people in your support system that really work for you?

Ryan Rivett:

Eh, for me it's, The people that I'd say my closest friends are people that I work with, whether they're business partners that invest or run parallel businesses and we collaborate on ventures or they're employees. There's no real. Separation between my closest friendships and my closest counterparts in the business. And so they all come into play in different ways and in different circumstances there. My grandfather has been huge in terms of a support system and definitely is often the phone call I make initially to say, Hey, I know you've been through something like this before in 50 some years of business. Got any insights for me. And I think. Beyond that, then it comes to, my executive leadership team are all very close friends of mine and a few business partners. And it just depends on what the circumstance is and what I'm looking for. But I definitely thrive off of having that. That comfort that comes from somebody saying, I don't really know how to deal with that, but it sounds like you're going the right direction. Or, yeah, I dealt with that a long time ago and here's what happened to me. I don't know if the same thing will come from you. It isn't really about coming down to getting an answer or getting a list of instructions on how to deal some deal with something. It's more about the confidence in moving forward and. Dealing with the issue that's come in front of you, or dealing with a decision that you have to make that isn't necessarily an issue but is really something that you need to be confident in making and know that there's gonna be a follow up to it That's positive.

Rachel Humphrey:

You mentioned a second ago your executive leadership team, and I've had the privilege of spending a good amount of time with your team talk, and certainly my place, and you personally are known for building a great team around you and developing talent. What do you look for in identifying future leaders? The people around you for a leadership team, obviously you mentioned there's a great responsibility in launching a new brand and being a part of this industry. What is your secret to success on that front?

Ryan Rivett:

Part of it isn't a secret, it's just luck. Good people have come my way more often than I can, identify. And it. It really is easy to see someone who's gonna jump in the foxhole with you from an early stage in getting introduced to them. I think because they engage, they pay attention. They're interested in hearing what you have to say, but also get the candor and the of the responses is something that's really important. Somebody who's willing to speak up and not just interject an opinion for the sake of being part of the conversation, but to actually learn something from it, to actually take something away from it or to provide some input. I've had people that I've had. An initial interview with who I've walked away going that was a pretty good idea. I should look at that and look at that and look at that before I ever knew that they were gonna join the team. And I think that's a really important first step. And then not just allowing that quality and that attribute from the very, that you identified in the very beginning to, to go latent to, to not be exercised. So knowing that, hey, with this person, every time I talk to them, I should. I should engage this element of their personality that, hey, I know he really likes to analyze all of the different circumstances that lead up to it. He's a builder. He likes to put the instruction manual together. While we're talking about doing something with this person, I know they're a little bit more adverse to risk. What they like to do is they like to analyze the outcomes before they really get to developing the list of things. And I think. You start with maybe the feeling that you can just have a really candid conversation with them and that they're genuinely interested in the subject that you're talking about, or the team or the business that you're talking about. And then from there, in order to develop it, you just have to continually engage. In a manner that's specific to them or at least throw something into each of your interactions that engages them specifically. And I think that's what's built a great team for us, is that we challenge one another a lot. But the challenge isn't a competitive thing. The challenge is really to see how much we can get done. And creative conversation comes from people that say, I'm not creative. I hear that all the time. It's no you're creative. I, everybody's got a level of creativity. It's how much they access that and how much the people around them access that, that exposes'em to it and pulls it out well.

Rachel Humphrey:

And what a sign of leadership to not only be open to a. Diverse set of thinking or of process and other things, but being able to find a way for all of those different strategies to not just coexist, but really thrive in your environment. I wanted to turn attention to one of the things that people say is their biggest hurdle to a desire to be a leader and public speaking has. A lot of components, we can be talking about are you presenting to a team, to a board, obviously to a large conference like you do. I wanna share one of the ways that you have impacted my career a lot. One of the ways that I have learned from you is that in this industry, which has. Personalities of all kinds. You are a hundred percent the same person in every environment. I see you. If I'm in a one-on-one meeting, if you're on the main stage at your own conference, if you're on the main stage at my conference, I know exactly who I'm getting because Ryan is authentically Ryan in all circumstances, including a lot of the public speaking, and I really love that because we might be seeing it a little more coming out of the pandemic, but oftentimes, With leaders, one kind of more private version and then a very public version. Talk a little bit about public speaking, the role you think it's played in your leadership. Maybe how you prepare, how you feel about it, and what you would tell others who really find this to be a big hurdle for them.

Ryan Rivett:

It's always been something that is, is comes pretty easily to me so long as. I try to do it naturally and don't prepare very much. I have really stumbled all over myself in speaking engagements or in meetings when I've tried to prepare and go point to point and have a manuscript or memorize points or talking points. I just never quite feel comfortable unless I'm able to just respond with what comes to me and have a real conversation. And I think that's something that is challenging for a lot of people is to see. If you're standing on a stage to see what you're saying as a conversation with the people that you're speaking to, even though they're not responding, because it's a big organized event and it's a, A presentation, so to speak. They're, it is a conversation because if you're speaking to them about things that they care about, and those are the ones you want to talk to, they're having a conversation with themselves. They're thinking about it and processing what you're saying in your head or in their head. And so you get more comfortable that way when you know that people or you understand that people are listening to you in terms of. How you speak and how you would speak to them if you were just having a one-on-one conversation? It's extremely important for me. I, just prior to this, I finished a two hour meeting with five people around my table where I'm gonna say I did 70% of the talking because the more majority of it was a presentation of a new objective we have and. And whether that's a lender or an investor or a franchisee or a group of association members that are in a general session hall at a conference. It's the same conversation either way. And it's just a different venue and you have to be able to. Put a sentence together and to anticipate a response. And my kids are. My two oldest are dealing with speech class right now in high school, and they come to me and ask me, how do you how do you do it? What do you do beforehand? And tell'em, everybody is completely different in how they prepare. And there's no way that you can parlay, Hey, here are my techniques into somebody else's, and have it be a hundred percent of what they do. But if you can conceptualize the people you're talking to as being there because they want to hear what you have to say. And you having something to give to them. It's a little easier to talk about whether it's a casual conversation, what we're having right now, or it's a formal presentation in order to get somebody to make a decision at the end of it. I try to view them all the same. They're one is no less important than the other. And and you need people, if you understand how much you need people in order to be successful in business, you recognize that how you communicate and how you engage with people and the consistency of that allows them to rely on you. And if they can rely on you, you can get a lot done together.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love that you started off the advice with my authentic self since I had just said that's actually what comes across, at least to me, in all of my encounters with you. And I do think it's interesting because you're absolutely right about every strategy being different. Yours is to not over prepare because that may paralyze you in the moment. Mine is to over prepare. Cause I think no one's gonna be more prepared. And then I can talk about anything as long not to prepare to write out, but just to be ready. For whatever comes my way, and we can both have success with incredibly different strategies behind it. The second to public speaking that we hear as one of the biggest hurdles is people who really struggle with. A lot of negativity on their own, whether it is self-doubt, we hear the phrase imposter syndrome a lot, whether it's insecurities. I'm wondering if you have strategies that you would recommend when you might get in your own head about whether it be skills or a choice you're making or something else, and you get in a place where it's hard to move forward because you're dealing with a lot of negativity.

Ryan Rivett:

Yeah, that's a difficult one. I deal with that a lot because of being a part of a generational business, there's a legacy aspect to our business here that there's a, there's an element of performance and pressure that comes along with having success. And I couldn't, it could never be the same or likely not better, but. But even just having success following a prior success. And so when you think about that and you say it's self-inflicted. Because nobody's coming in and saying these things to me, and then I'm repeating them to them, to myself. I'm coming up with the negative self-talk and the doubts that I have going into dir different situations or in looking back at what has been accomplished or not accomplished in a period of time. And it is a really difficult thing to to deal with, but I think, you know what? What really helps to some degree, and I'm not sure that I've figured it out much yet, but what really does help is to get completely out of and disconnected from what it is that you, the negativity's coming from. If it's business, if it's Hey we laid out this objective at the beginning of the year. Here we are halfway through the year and we still haven't gotten halfway. To where we should be. We're way behind and I haven't appropriated the right people and I haven't put the right funds in, and I should have spent more time and prioritized this and this, and I'm really not doing a good job. You can come up with all of those different negative things that just take you away from actually getting anything done. So for me, it's removing myself completely from it and not for a long time, but doing it intentionally. Let's say it's going outside for a walk or it's. Taking a drive for a little bit and having a different conversation with myself and saying, okay, I'm gonna put this aside right now and I'm gonna go do this. Or it's, I like fishing, I like golf, I like activities like that. So if it's even going out to the driving range for an hour can make a big difference. But that really helps me is to get away from something that's creating a challenge and some doubt for me and get into something that doesn't incorporate a challenge or any doubt. It's it's. Just something relatively benign, but something that has some positivity to it. And you obviously can't leave for an hour every time something like that comes up. But the big ones, it's that, the small ones, it's talking to somebody who's not involved. It's maybe making a phone call or even shooting a text to somebody to say, Hey, how's it going today? Or, man this is a really big struggle for me for the moment, but I wanna see what you're up to. It does definitely come down to people and the frequency of your ability to rely on people when you're not feeling great. It's no different than, kids when they're not doing well. I'm, I've dealt with this and I remember it from being a teenager of all the doubt that comes along with being in high school and all the outside influences that come along with it. And I recognize that when my kids come to me and I say, Hey I'm just bummed out today and I don't know why. It's an outside influence and that negative self-talk that the best thing you can do is change the subject and try to get'em off of that so that you can come back around to deal with it again. And that's what I think works best for me is just being able to break from it for a minute or an hour, knowing that I'm going to be intentional about coming back to it and dealing with it after the fact.

Rachel Humphrey:

I think that's incredible advice. I really appreciate your sharing that. One of the other things that keeps you very busy is your activity with boards and associations. Community engagement, I know is very important to you and to your family, and oftentimes we can learn in. Credible leadership skills through these other activities that we do, in addition to what I'll call our day jobs. Why is that type of IPO involvement so important for you? And can you pinpoint maybe any skills that you developed through that involvement that are different than you've developed in the corporate world?

Ryan Rivett:

I think that they're important be that involvement and that engagement is important for relationship building for one. But it's also, it also gives you an opportunity to have input in areas of your business or in areas of. The world around you that you would get so busy otherwise Because I have, family and work and hobbies I like to get involved in and things like that, that I can fill up 125% of my day with all of those things that I want and need to do. If I don't carve off some time to get involved in something that I. You know, maybe want to do, but don't necess it doesn't necessarily rise to the top of the bucket of wants and don't actually need to do because I, I have my business, I have my family. Those are the two primary needs. It really helps you to expand pers perspective too and bring things back to your own business and your own success and to feel good that you've. Help somebody else out. Typically, there's a reason for being involved in these things that is not a beneficial, not just a benefit to you, but it's a greater benefit to the people that you're engaging with. And I look at it in all those ways. I challenge myself, every time there's a new opportunity or a new request to get involved in something. With respect to how much time do I actually have to give the to this, and am I going to be an effective part of it with the amount of time I'm willing to commit? I've definitely abstained from a lot of engagements that I think would've been fun or would've been enjoyable or really rewarding to engage in. But I just knew that I wouldn't have the bandwidth to be a, an effective part of it at that time. And I think. Those things are all really important for me. What I've developed out of working with associations and nonprofits and boards is patience. Things move much less quickly in those settings than they do in our offices or, in the business setting where it's more of a, it's more of a transactional. Venue and decisions can be made by the decision makers as opposed to often decisioned by committee and, extensive conversation on it. So that's my, I know it's a valuable part of my personality and what I've learned in business to be able to make decisions quickly and take risks and be impatient with inefficiencies. It's not necessarily all good though, and so getting involved in things that are a little different help you develop some patience and again, add perspective. So I, it's pretty all the way around. I just have to be careful not to get myself committed to too many and not do a good job at'em.

Rachel Humphrey:

That's some real and in really interesting perspective on the patients too. Cause you're right, the speed of change can be very different in those two different environments. We are gonna run short on time. We have so much we could visit on. I have a couple quick questions I wanna ask you as we wrap up. One is, we hear so much nowadays about developing a personal brand. People really wanna know who you are. What do you stand for? As you sit here today, do you have a personal mantra or a personal brand that you feel like really drives the decisions you make in your personal life, in your professional life, day in and day out?

Ryan Rivett:

I. I don't think I've developed anything specific. I really just take life as it comes and have a lot of people to consider in every decision that I make and in every role that I take. And it, it's, life's pretty dynamic. I haven't been able to put a brand on it.

Rachel Humphrey:

Maybe life is dynamic. Is your personal mantra that you take things as they come? I forget that. One of my favorite questions always to be asked and to ask back is advice to our younger selves because I do think that personal growth and reflection are really an important part of our development as people, as leaders. As you sit here today, what do you tell 21 year old Ryan? Either things you wish you had known then or about how things will turn out for you today.

Ryan Rivett:

We don't have enough time and this go through that list. But I think you could probably sum it up and consistently this comes up for me is don't sweat the small stuff. Really the amount of things that. I allowed to roll off my shoulder today versus what I did 20 years ago is substantially different. And importantly, so because I'd never be able to carry all of that along with what builds up over the years. I'd be happy to tell anybody. Relax a little bit and don't sweat the small stuff. That's

Rachel Humphrey:

incredible. Sometime I'm gonna have to follow up with you on how that evolution has happened because I think that's hard for a lot of us. Yeah. Maybe through the drive and the other things to take things very personally, certainly and with a lot of impact. And as you mentioned, you have a lot of people that rely on you too, which is that added pressure, not to mention the legacy and other things. Just wrapping up now, keeping in mind the motto of d e i advisors to empower personal success. Is there any piece of final advice that you would offer to our listeners who are looking to continue to develop and grow their careers?

Ryan Rivett:

Engage and allow different perspective, pursue different perspective. Constantly in the decision making process, trying to look at things from a more sim symmetrical viewpoint as opposed to, linear is extremely important. I'm trying to get better at it every day myself. But I find when. When I can look back and say, Hey, I did consider multiple perspectives there and I did seek out advice. I'm always more comfortable and happier with my decisions.

Rachel Humphrey:

That's great advice and a great place for us to wrap up. Ryan, thank you so much for supporting the initiatives of d e I advisors. Thank you for all that you do for the hospitality industry, for our relationship as well. And just really appreciate your sharing your thoughts with us today.

Ryan Rivett:

Thanks for the opportunity to share. I'd love to do it again. And

Rachel Humphrey:

for those who are listening at home, we hope you'll visit d e i advisors.org to hear from the over a hundred industry leaders who have shared their paths to leadership and theto lessons they've learned along the way. You can also stream d e i advisors on your favorite podcast streaming service. So thank you Ryan again, and have a good day.